Once upon a Millennial
Once upon a time, there was a young man with the dream of becoming a great lawyer. He spoke with some successful lawyers, and they suggested he attend a well known and very demanding university. The young man applied was accepted. He and his advisors discussed the upcoming Freshman year, and settled on the following courses:
English 101
Basic Economics
Latin I
Constitutional Law
The young man excelling in all his studies. He impressed his instructors with his commitment and aptitude. His classmates stood in awe of his work and dedication.
At the end of his first year, his advisors heaped praise upon the young scholar. The advisors said “Rarely have we seen such potential. Your work does credit to yourself and our chosen profession.” The young scholar beamed with pride, thanked them for their words, saying “What an honor is to finally join the ranks of such great legal minds…truly a dream come true!” With awkward glances and nervous chuckles, the advisors replied “uh, yes…” and deftly changed the subject by opening the universities vast course catalog. Asking the lad to pick his next course of study, the young man chose the following:
English 101
Basic Economics
Latin I
Introduction to Constitutional Law
The advisors gently nudged him to other courses, but the young prodigy insisted.
His sophomore year went even better than the first. The young man felt he was truly called to his chosen subjects. It was as if he were a natural, so easily did the A’s come his way. Occasionally, one of his classmates would ask for help, and he took great pride in guiding a new student. Although he set a new record for GPA, his advisors still refused to accept him as one of their own. The advisors begged him to think about his curriculum choices, but the young man wouldn’t change his path. He chose for the next year these classes:
English 101
Basic Economics
Latin I
Introduction to Constitutional Law
And that year, the scholar set a new standard…never before had a student shown such mastery of each course. He received A’s for the sole reason that there were no higher marks to be given. Other students noticed the ease in which he navigated the material and ask for help not only with specific topics but with study techniques in general. Still, his advisors refused to grant him the title “esquire” until he had done more. Other students also voiced their displeasure with the advisors, noting that one of the greatest legal minds in history had managed only a B in Latin. Still, the advisors refused to grant the title. Getting frustrated, the scholar decided to study one more year. He signed up for the following courses:
English 101
Basic Economics
Latin I
Introduction to Constitutional Law
The scholar threw himself into the work, excelling well beyond anyone that had previously taken the classes. He wrote essays that went on to become the nation’s leading online blog. The Fed Chairman referenced one of his term papers. He became a multimillionaire by translating Penthouse Forum into Latin for certain “niche” consumers. He could summarize every 20th century Supreme court decision. Exhausted but proud, the student was sure that the advisors would acknowledge all that he had done. To his amazement, they again told him he had not done enough….adding further insult with the insinuation that he had basically wasted his, and their, time. The more the advisors spoke about what must be done, the more bitter the scholar became. And then the final insult: the advisors held up this young man as an example to new students of how NOT to become a lawyer.
Outraged, the young scholar came to the only conclusion plausible: advisors are assholes.
The End…