God's not up there...

President Donald Trump will not nominate David Duke to replace justice Anthony Kennedy on the Supreme Court. Senior Officials in the Trump administration confirmed today that Trump has no plans on nominating Mr. Duke, but did not specifically state that they would rule out any other white supremacists. The senior official was also silent on whether Mr Duke is being considered for Attorney General once Mr. Sessions is fired, which could theoretically happen next week. Mr. Duke was invited to appear on all the major news talk shows, where he was quoted as saying, “I would be honored to accept an appointment by President Trump if it were offered.”  This statement, along with a clip of Mr. Duke in front of a burning cross yelling “White Power!” were looped back-to-back for 9 hours straight on every news channel on the planet.
In a later press conference, White House spokesman Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed that Supreme Court candidates were indeed being interviewed, but did not comment on rumors that Trump may require candidates to literally choke out a hooker as a sign of loyalty.

When Trump is mentioned in conversation, keep a neutral face and don’t say a word.  Depending on how you are dressed that day, the left will assume your 2016 vote went to HRC because …

• she has a vast amount of experience inside government.
• it’s obvious that she’s awesome.
• it’s obvious he’s a disaster.
• you don’t seem misogynistic or paternalistic
• You value your freedoms.
• DT would abuse the office.
• you seem somewhat intelligent, ergo, you must have voted the same as they.

When HRC is mentioned in conversation, keep a neutral face and don’t say a word.  Depending on how you are dressed that day, the right will assume your 2016 vote went to Trump because …

• he has a vast amount of experience outside government.
• it’s obvious that he’s awesome.
• it’s obvious she’s a disaster.
• you don’t seem condescending or hypocritical.
• You value your freedoms.
• HRC would abuse the office.
• you seem somewhat intelligent, ergo, you must have voted the same as they.

When someone wants to talk to you about presidential politics, they are likely just looking to legitimize their vote rather than argue merit…so do yourself, and them, a favor:  smile and let them assume whatever makes them feel good to assume. It’s easier for us both.  If they insist on continuing the discussion, mention that you heard something on Rush Limbaugh and they’ll look surprised and change the subject.  If that doesn’t work, mention that you enjoy NPR.

Dear Democrats,

I’m very happy that I no longer have to listen to your pandering lectures about how I am throwing my vote away (voting Johnson/Weld) and helping to elect a candidate that will mean the end of this country, and may literally mean the end of the earth.  Please use this opportunity to consider how much power you wish this President to hold, as well as the unknown President to follow.

Dear Republicans,

I’m very happy that I no longer have to listen to your pandering lectures about how I am throwing my vote away (voting Johnson/Weld) and helping to elect a candidate that will mean the end of this country, and may literally mean the end of the earth.  Please use this opportunity to consider how much power you wish this President to hold, as well as the unknown President to follow.